


It’s Not You, It’s Us

by SilentMagician (BurningSwan)



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Break Up, Breaking and Entering, Canon-Typical Violence, Cigarettes, Cold, Friendship, Izaya being dense, Izaya not being rational, Izaya’s an asshole, Light Angst, Light-Hearted, Love/Hate, Multi, Number of Chapters May Change, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Reform, Shizuo’s done, Smoking, Some Humor, Toasters, Trying, at least more than my other stories, change, ignorance, ignoring
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-15
Updated: 2017-11-15
Packaged: 2019-02-02 16:42:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12730362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BurningSwan/pseuds/SilentMagician
Summary: For them it was never romantic. Their fights ended with blood, not tears. Their makeup were violent, not gentle. Their relationship was full of hate, not love.The problem isn't you, nor is it me. It's us. It's impossible after all.





	It’s Not You, It’s Us

He'd tried so hard, so very hard to swallow his rage and his hatred for the flea and give this whole 'new relationship' thing a try with encouragement from several people. He'd tried to be gentle and kind and friendly but Izaya never seemed to even bother with trying, being the same bastard he always was.

Shizuo had tried, okay, he had fucking tried. He didn't give up after the first fight, or the second, or the third, or the fourth...He'd found a remarkable amount of patience with the flea because he wanted to see if things could change and maybe- _maybe_ \- he could have some semblance to the peaceful life he wanted, but Izaya seemed _hellbent_ on making that impossible.

He was getting sick of it. It was always the same and he was losing his patience with the bastard and he knew soon he was going to snap at the flea and all hell would break loose.

And even if he was at the breaking point of wanting to kill the flea, he still didn't want that to happen because he didn't want to go back to the days when he couldn't control his rage and had to submit to the violence within himself.

To Shizuo, it seemed their relationship would just not work.

For them it was never romantic. Their fights ended with blood, not tears. Their makeup were violent, not gentle. Their relationship was full of hate, not love.

But Shizuo was still pondering on 'what could have been', the 'what could still be, but wasn't'.

But it was still too much. It was too much to ask of them to get along in such a manner, to be in _love_ , of all things.

Shizuo sure as hell had tried, but it would take a tremendous effort on both sides, and Izaya seemed completely unwilling. Uninterested in even entertaining the thought.

Shizuo wanted to find a way to wipe that constant smirk off Izaya's face at least, while he pondered in what manner he should end this insulting atrocity to everything else called _love_.

He took a much needed drag of his cigarette to clear his mind.

He'd already made up his mind that he was going to end their so-called relationship. It was only a question of when, and in what manner.

———

Izaya hadn't been expecting a call from Shizuo. He had known he'd been pushing the extremities of the man's patience, but he still hadn't expected a call, considering the beast usually got frustrated with the piece of technology, especially when he was in a foul mood, and Izaya had expected him to be.

Shizuo never failed to be unpredictable for Izaya.

"Yo, flea, we need to meet up." Terse and to the point, now that was something Izaya could expect of Shizuo.

"I'm a busy man, Shizuo," he sighed dramatically. "I can't drop everything for you whenever you want."

Shizuo growled quietly before he answered.

"You never have, flea," there was a short pause, before Shizuo continued. "Fine, if you don't want to meet up, I can say it over the phone. After all, you wouldn't care if this was something personal and face-to-face or something impersonal. It will be faster this way."

Izaya blinked, slightly confused by Shizuo's words.

"What are you talking about...?" He asked, a little hesitantly.

"What, flea, you haven't figured it out," Shizuo scoffed scathingly, a clear jab at Izaya's profession and his skills. "I thought you knew _everything_."

"Not everything," Izaya admitted tensely. "What is this about, Shizu-chan? I don't have the time."

"Of course not, Izaya, especially not for anyone else other than yourself," Shizuo continued, sounding bitter. "Anyways, I was thinking it was about time."

Izaya waited silently, thinking Shizuo would elaborate, but he was met with silence from the other end of the phone.

"About time for what?" Izaya practically snapped, annoyed because he still wasn't sure what Shizuo was going on about. He was extremely tired and didn't have the patience to try and guess what the unpredictable beast was trying to get at.

"To end this...This ambiguous and meaningless relationship." Shizuo stated it bluntly, sounding unaffected and uncaring of the impact his words might have.

Izaya felt his mouth go dry. He knew he had been testing Shizuo's limits to see if the two of them could ever actually get along, to see if Shizuo could accept Izaya as he was, but he hadn't really thought he would go so far as to end everything, end all the progress they had made in reforming the beast so prone to rage and violence, end all that Izaya had worked so hard to maintain because as fun as it was to mess with Shizuo and as curious as he was to test the lengths Shizuo would go while enraged, he'd wanted to try a more peaceable relationship, to see what it was like to go to Ikebukuro and not have a raging beast chasing him throughout the city...

Did an end mean a return to the beginning?

"Well," Izaya barely registered that Shizuo was speaking again. "That's all I wanted to say to you, flea. We're done so you better leave me alone from now on."

Izaya was about to open his mouth to speak, to retort, to say something, anything so that the beast wouldn't misunderstand his silence, but he heard the phone beep and it was too late. Shizuo had already hung up.

He sat in silent shock for a while, unable to refocus on his work while he tried his damned hardest to figure out what the fuck had just happened.

After the fact, Izaya was able to retrospectively realize why Shizuo had asked to meet him. And since he'd refused, the end was impersonal and abrupt, and it was having trouble sinking in.

Izaya stood from his desk, pacing across his apartment and trying to clear his mind so he could focus back on his work.

But what if Shizuo went back to seeking to kill him whenever he returned to Ikebukuro? He couldn't deny it had been quite nice not having the raging beast on his heels every time he was in Ikebukuro.

A sigh escaped his lips before he could stop himself, and when he heard the abrupt stop of clicking heels, he turned slowly to see Namie, staring at him, frozen in place.

"What is it, Namie-san?" He cooed, smirking at his secretary.

She rolled her eyes, didn't answer and walked straight past him to get to her work.

"Aw, is Namie-san giving me the cold shoulder?" He cried in mock-hurt, holding a hand to his chest as a sign of his offense.

Namie coldly glared over at him.

"Now you know how your idiot boyfriend feels." She snorted, before returning to the papers in front of her.

Izaya stopped himself in the middle of forming a retort, one in which he was going to say that, one, Shizuo wasn't his boyfriend, and two, he didn't care how the stupid brute felt.

He wasn't sure why he'd stopped, but maybe it had to do with what Shizuo had told him right before he said he was ending their...relationship...

He turned sharply towards the door.

"I'll be right back, Namie-san!" He sang as he darted out the door, feet slapping harshly across the floor as he ran, a familiar feeling of exhilaration running through his veins.

Things were never over until Izaya said so.

———

Celty stopped Shizuo when she spotted him walking aimlessly down the street, a cigarette dangling limply from his mouth. She typed rapidly before she showed her PDA to the blonde.

[Shizuo! How are things going? Is it easier for you now?]

Shizuo held back a derisive snort.

"Things were never fine with Izaya, but I did manage to stop myself from beating him to death if that's an improvement." Shizuo remarked, taking a drag of the cigarette he'd almost forgotten was there.

[Then, the two of you broke up or...?]

Celty held her PDA up to Shizuo, her confusion apart even she had no head. She tilted her helmet instead.

Shizuo's face twisted.

"We should have never gotten together in the first place. The flea didn't even try. If he doesn't want it, then there's no point in my one-sidedly trying to make this work," Shizuo paused, taking a deep breath to calm himself as he felt the first boils of rage rise in his chest. "I ended everything earlier today."

Celty's fingers flew across her PDA.

[And neither of you got hurt?]

Shizuo didn't answer right away, making Celty panic.

[You didn't hurt him, did you?!?]

She frantically waved the PDA in Shizuo's face, hoping to prompt a response.

She froze when Shizuo let out a low growl.

"The flea's fine," he snarled. "He's the one who decided to ignore my request, so I ended everything over the phone."

Celty was unsure how to react or respond to Shizuo's words, her fingers hovering awkwardly over the PDA as she tried to figure out how to respond.

"You don't need to say anything, Celty," Shizuo murmured, speaking softly now. "But now you know."

The blonde turned away before the dullahan could type anything more and continued walking.

———

It was dark and cold by the time Izaya got to Ikebukuro. Belatedly, he realized there wasn't much point coming this late, but he was there now and there weren't any more trains back to Shinjuku at this time. Hell, he'd taken one of the last trains to Ikebukuro.

But even still there might be a chance he'll run into Shizuo if he was still working. If not, he'd have to personally seek the man out at his apartment, which Izaya wanted to avoid if possible.

Being trapped in the same place with Shizuo when he wasn't sure how the man would act around him now that he'd shattered what they'd had- whatever it was- was not something Izaya wanted to deal with.

He skipped across the streets, trying to catch a glimpse of the dyed blonde locks he was so accustomed to seeing, with no luck.

He did, however, run into Celty. He stopped walking and moved towards her.

"Courier-san," he greeted when she noticed him and stopped her motorcycle. "How are you?"

The dullahan was quick to type her response.

[Izaya!! Is it true that you and Shizuo broke up? What happened? I thought everything was going fine until I ran into Shizuo earlier today...]

Izaya contained a look of disgust at her words.

"Shizuo was the one who tried to selfishly end things," he declared. "I'm not done with him yet."

Celty paused for a moment before she showed her next reply.

[You're not going to hurt him, are you?]

Izaya laughed.

"No, I just want him to know that nothing is over until I say it is!" Izaya giggled, starting to prance off.

Celty stared after him.

[Shinra, it doesn't look good...]

She texted the doctor.

「Just wait. We will just watch for now. Things may work out on their own.」

Celty wasn't happy with leaving the two alone, especially since she knew how destructive the two were around each other, always bringing out the worst in each other, but if Shinra thought things might work out, she wanted to believe in those words.

[Okay. I got it, Shinra.]

She reluctantly typed back. Her shoulders sagged, but she hoped for the best for both Izaya and Shizuo, even if she had never really been fond of the informant, she didn't want him hurt either, especially not if Shizuo truly cared for him, but she could never be sure.

She had been certain things were going fine when the two had made up after every fight, even if they had escalated to their type of violence they were so familiar with. And yes, maybe their relationship hadn't been that romantic but it still been _something_ , even if not even the two it involved knew what that 'something' was.

She had been surprised when Shizuo said he had ended it. Sure, he did have a short temper, but he had persisted every other time and she would have thought that Izaya would end it because of some reason or another.

But she did know Shizuo seemed deeply hurt and Izaya seemed determined on it not being over. It only promised chaos to come.


End file.
